Did you know that shoes multiply, like rabbits? You start out with some sturdy Birkenstocks and maybe a pair of Capezio heels and the next thing you know your closet is overflowing with pink ballet slippers plus six pairs of multi-colored tennis shoes.
My mother had the worst case of shoe proliferation ever diagnosed. I blame it on the cold WVA climate. All that snuggling in the winter resulted in multiples of pastel spring sandals and flirty jelly flip-flops. We unearthed 213 pairs from closets and under beds.
Sadly, the inbreeding results in symptoms of instability. Shoes wander off, but never in pairs, so you venture out to work in one brown loafer and one chocolate flat. After my last move, I unpacked shoes I’d never seen before.I have an unproven but logical theory— space aliens.
I applied for a grant to study this footwear phenomenon,deciding it could be my lasting contribution to society. So far my only response was a happy face emoji. I assumed… multiplying shoes would trigger concern, but Russian meddling in our elections stole my air time.
SHARON CANFIELD DORSEY is an awarding author and poet.
She has published four children’s books…Herman the Hermit Crab and the Mystery of the Big, Black, Shiny Thing; Revolt of the Teacups; Buddy and Ballerina save the Library; Buddy the Bookworm Rescues the Doomed Books…a memoir, Daughter of the Mountains; a book of poetry, Tapestry. Her poems are also included in an anthology, Captured Moments.