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Sharon Canfield Dorsey –Why God Made Mothers (As explained by first graders.)

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WHY DID GOD MAKE MOTHERS? Mostly to clean the house and find the scotch tape.

HOW DID GOD MAKE MOTHERS? Magic, plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

WHAT INGREDIENTS ARE MOTHERS MADE OF? Clouds, angel hair, everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

WHY DID YOU GET YOUR MOTHER AND NOT SOME OTHER MOM? We’re related.

WHAT KIND OF LITTLE GIRL WAS YOUR MOM? My guess would be pretty bossy.

WHAT DID YOUR MOM NEED TO KNOW ABOUT DAD BEFORE MARRYING HIM?

His last name and did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

WHY DID YOUR MOM MARRY YOUR DAD? My grandma says she didn’t have her thinking cap on.

WHO’S THE BOSS AT YOUR HOUSE? Mom. She does room inspection and sees the stuff under the bed.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MOMS AND DADS? Moms work at work and work at home and Dad’s only work at work.

WHAT DOES YOUR MOM DO IN HER SPARE TIME? Mom’s don’t do spare time.

WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO MAKE YOUR MOM PERFECT? Inside, she’s perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR MOM, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I’d make her smarter so she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

SHARON CANFIELD DORSEY is an award-winning author and poet. She has published four children’s books, Herman the Hermit Crab and the Mystery of the Big, Black, Shiny Thing; Revolt of the Teacups; Buddy and Ballerina Save the Library, illustrated by her granddaughters; and Buddy the Bookworm Rescues the Doomed Books; a memoir, Daughter of the Mountains; and two books of poetry, Tapestry; and Captured Moments.

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